Relations during Menstruation

Thank you for directing me to this answer; however, I read it before and I am still not clear about it, which is why I asked the question. I'm sorry if I sound very ignorant, but I'm just not getting it. The answers given seem to contradict each other. For example, point one says that the husband is allowed to touch his wife through a barrier or look at her without a barrier between her navel and her knee during her menses, even with desire. But the second point says that deriving pleasure from touching, looking, etc. is not allowed. And Reliance of the Traveller states that a woman may not "take sexual enjoyment" from this area during this time. I do not understand what this all means. To me it seems that what is meant is that a husband may look at his wife in that area and touch her in that area through a barrier but that it must not cause pleasure (although desire is okay) for either of them, and to me it sounds like for the duration of her menses, she is basically off-limits to him. It also seems that touching or looking with desire without release is a very tempting situation, and a difficult situation for the husband. I just want to make sure that I understand this correctly so I may keep myself from sin.

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate

When a woman is in menstruation, it becomes forbidden for her husband to have skin-to-skin contact with what is between her navel and knee. This is the only thing that is forbidden. Deriving pleasure by means of touching through a barrier or by means of looking is not forbidden.

Imam Nawawi used two expressions in this context. In some of his books, he said that what is forbidden is istimta', or "deriving sexual pleasure" from what is between the navel and then knee. In other books, he said that what is forbidden is mubashara, or "skin-to-skin contact" with what is between the navel and the knee.

As you have noted in your question, each wording has different implications. After thoroughly investigating the matter, the later scholars of our school, such as Ibn Hajar al-Haytami in the Tuhfat al-Muhtaj, ruled that the most correct wording is mubashara, therefore only skin-to-skin contact is forbidden (Tuhfat al-Muhtaj, 1.396). Many of the study-texts of the Shafi'i school--such as the Reliance--still use the term istimta'. This is an inaccuracy that teachers will often correct when one reads the text with them.

And Allah knows best.

Hamza.