Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
I pray you are doing well.
Kind treatment remains a requirement from your husband to his mother.
Nonetheless, her behavior certainly sounds way out of line. What is needed here is for your husband to develop a backbone and let his mother know that he won't tolerate abuse or disrespect of his family.
The religion does not require him to disclose his income or live in the same city as his mother. As long as her needs are being met in terms of kind treatment, companionship, and maintenance, then your husband has done his duty.
You and your husband should set guidelines for how you will handle the situation as a couple. These guidelines should be adhered to, because, in the long run, they will bring more peace into the family, insha'Allah.
I also suggest you seek out couples counseling.
And Allah knows best.
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