Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher
Assalaamu 3alaykum brother
My question to you is that I want to get married to this sister whom I went to college with. We have both agreed to the marriage and our parents, who have not yet met, are aware. I am 19 and she is nearly 18. I know this might be a young age as stated by my parent(s) as they are telling me to get married after my degree so that I can "support my wife". Financially I have a problem but I intend to work hard so that I can get married as soon as possible to avoid sinful matters and I love this girl. Although we may not do well in our studies, I would like to raise a family within the Islamic Laws, please can you advise me and especially the financial aspect of what is the basic requirements for finance as I want to pay for everything in our married lives insha2allah.
Please make du3aa
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
I pray this message reaches you in good health and spirits.
I apologize for the delay.
The following are the minimum financial requirements for a man wishing to get married:
1. The mahr, or marriage payment, which is stipulated by the bride, and should not be dictated by the parents. The bride may ask for anything of value, such as money or jewelry, or anything that she can have the use of, such as a car. The groom cannot set limits on the dowry, although it is praiseworthy for the bride to take his circumstances into consideration.
2. Suitable housing, such that the bride has her own private quarters away from the groom's family. If she agrees to live with his parents, then that is acceptable. However, it is her right to have private lodging.
3. The ability to provide for the wife's basic maintenance, including food, clothing, articles of personal hygiene, and any pregnancy or childbirth-related medical expenses.
The above requirements represent the minimum of what a man must provide. Obviously, he should strive to go above and beyond this, but in accordance with his means.
Scholars who advise young men on such matters usually counsel patience. Fasting is strongly recommended for young men who desire to get married but lack the funds.
Ask Allah Ta'ala to give you the means to support a family in a lawful manner. It would probably be a good idea to talk to the sister and her family and explain the situation. Perhaps they can suggest some strategies.
And Allah knows best.
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