Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,
The way of excellence is to respond with excellence of conduct, and you’ll find that the other party will themselves realize the error of their ways.
With that, one should take the intelligent means to avoid fights in the first place. The Qur’anic paradigm for resolving differences is through positive consultation and discussion (shura), rather than dispute, which Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) have strongly censured.
Allah promises in the Qur’an that,
“Good and bad are not alike. Repel the bad with what is better and, if there is enmity between you and someone else, he will become like a close friend. None will be granted this but those who are truly steadfast, and none will be granted this save those who have great good fortune.” [Qur’an, 41:33-34]
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) told us that,
“Allah is gentle and loves gentleness in all matters." [Bukhari and Muslim, on the authority of A’isha (Allah be pleased with her)]
And he also said (peace and blessings be upon him),
“Allah is gentle and loves gentleness. He gives for gentleness what He does not give for harshness, nor anything else." [Muslim, also on the authority of A’isha (Allah be pleased with her)]
And he told us (Allah bless him and give him peace) that,
“Whenever gentleness is in a thing it adorns it. Whenever gentleness is removed from anything, it disfigures it.” [Muslim, on the authority of A’isha (Allah be pleased with her)]
This gentleness does not negate that one seek one’s due rights. However, it simply means that one does so in the most effective of ways—the way of the Beloved Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), who never lifted his hand against his wives or others in his household.
And Allah alone gives success.
Wassalam,
Faraz Rabbani
MMVIII © Faraz Rabbani and Qibla.
All rights reserved
No part of this article may be reproduced, displayed, modified, or distributed without the express prior written permission of both copyright holders. For permission, please submit a request at our Helpdesk.
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "Knowledge is only through study." While some knowledge can be gained from reading or casually listening to lectures, the best means to gain knowledge is through finding a qualified teacher and then setting up a systematic program of learning. Picking up a book or reading an article and trying to figure things out on our own is no substitute for learning from someone who has a direct link to our living tradition.
Through joining an online class at Qibla, you can benefit from convenient, online courses that will give you access to reliable scholars and our popular curriculum learning tracks. Knowledge gained in these courses will both build your iman and assist you in putting into practice what you learn. Don't give yourself less than you deserve, register today.
